GrouSu (n.): group suicide New York City likes to call itself a “City of Neighborhoods,” and it’s certainly true that between the ethnic enclaves, specialized commercial districts, and salient manmade geographical features, the city is broken into pieces that have clear character and distinctive attributes — a walk from the West Village across town to [...]
matrimarchy (n.): a government of rulers linked by marriage; e.g. a succession of power descending from a husband to his wife That’s better. Anyway, much has been made of the fact that an H-Dawg presidency would constitute at least 24 years of rule by the same two families. I know plenty of people who cite [...]
scronym (n.): a name given to a man’s ballsack This, shockingly, began as a typo by a dear friend, but the opportunity for a portmanteau was just too delicious to pass up. I’m frankly surprised that a word like this hasn’t already been coined. Though I’ve never seen figures, I would assume that hundreds of [...]
reuptooked (v., perfect aspect): what SSRIs prevent seratonin from being Penetrating linguistic insight from your humble narrator, yes? Consider this a table scrap for those gnawing at my ankles for more posts — I’ll deliver something real when I have more time.
taintoo (n.): a perineum tattoo This is one of those beautiful words that speaks completely for itself. I will only comment inasmuch as to point out that the ideal taintoo has to say “GRUNDLE” or possibly even “GRUNDLE TATTOO.” Why’s that? Glad you asked, because…
pompamullet (n.): a hairstyle that crosses a pompadour with a mullet, featuring both a puffy, up-swept front and a longer, shaggy back Three weeks or so ago, good friend and Action Painters keyboardist Allison cut my hair and did a spectacular job with it, transforming it from full-on shitshow hebro to hot’n’sexy young Elvis messiness. [...]
nego /n?go?/ (n.): contrarian; pessimist; negative nancy Another post born of exhaustion, I’m afraid, but I have to make a clarion call to my readership that this word exists and must be learned and internalized if you ever hope to converse with me, as I’ve discovered it appears in at least 20% of my conversations [...]
thigpen (n.): the visible bulge created by a man’s package in tight pants; compare CAMELTOE. This term was coined last night. Somewhere, The Chief is smiling. Or rolling in her grave.
