umlaut (n.): a diacritic mark placed (in proper usage) over a vowel to denote a sound change in German.  used by extension in English to refer to any diaeresis or trema

It’s Spam Week here at MTPN!  The umlaut is an uncommon mark in American English, generally reserved for Frenchy-sounding names like Chloë and Anaïs and for hoity-toity publications like The New Yorker, whose house style decrees that it be used in such words as coöperation and reëdit.  The exception to the rule that says umlauts are for elitists is the heavy metal umlaut, found in the names of such bands as Motörhead and Queensrÿche. The heavy metal umlaut was originally intended to seem “mean” and “Wagnerian” by association with noted historical badasses such as the Visigoths and the Nazis, but it has been parodied so often (most famously, by “Spinal Tap,” which places an umlaut over the “n”) that it is now as much a satirical meme as a sincere one. (That’s right, Abörted Hitler Cöck, I said it.)

Which is why I was a bit surprised to discover one of the first Facebook spam worms (which are at long last starting to crop up due to Facebook’s rapidly growing market share) posted something on my wall informing me that “SOMEONE HAS A CRÜSH ON YOU!” I hadn’t realized the metalhead love-connection market was so demographically powerful, but hey, maybe this worm’s creators were hoping to catch the extremely irony-steeped as well.

Tags: facebook, spam