pompamullet (n.): a hairstyle that crosses a pompadour with a mullet, featuring both a puffy, up-swept front and a longer, shaggy back

Three weeks or so ago, good friend and Action Painters keyboardist Allison cut my hair and did a spectacular job with it, transforming it from full-on shitshow hebro to hot’n'sexy young Elvis messiness. It’s been a good three weeks, and I’ve reaped massive rewards from this hair, but just today I looked in the mirror and discovered that while the front was fleshing out nicely into a Morrissey-style pompadour, the back had taken on a life of its own, as if the nineties had tiptoed up behind me and launched a sneak attack which I, plugged into my iPod Video, had failed to notice until it was way too late.

I’ve got a haircut appointment a week from today, but I’m contemplating going into a complete time warp between now and then, wearing nothing but fluorescent pants, NO FEAR t-shirts, and backwards baseball caps. They’ll probably frown on this at my office (“Son, we in the legal profession don’t look kindly upon the revival of fashion trends that really should never have gotten off the ground in the first place”), but I’m spending the rest of the afternoon taking an absurdly difficult and pointless logic test, so I’m not sure it much matters what the boss-men think — it’s not as if there’s any work to do anyway.

Tags: coinages